Managing Relationships Essay

Introduction Relationships differ throughout our life from birth. We have friendships which are freely chosen, we have family which establishes the growth of individuals, we have romance which is where we commit and are intimate with someone, we have professional which is on a business level. We all have relationships that stand out in our lives and a couple of them have lasted a lifetime and the others were short but left a memory that will live forever in my paper I will discuss one of the relationships where and how it started and where it still is almost thirty years later. I will also discuss the issues the relationship has been through. I will also discuss ways to manage and improve the relationship. My Relationship The relationship started approximately twenty-six years ago when I was attending middle school. The relationship started off not how the normal friendship starts off this relationship started as rivalry between my brother and my best friends sister which also led to confrontatio n after that took its course me and my best friend started talking and then from there we became a team we spent every day after school together we would giggle, play, plan, and also get into trouble as kids sometimes do. Two years into meeting I had some family problems at home and I it was decided between her parents and mine that it would be a good idea for me to live with my new friend and her family. Today we are closer than sisters talk every day at least twice once in the morning on my way to work and after work on my way home. We also argue and disagree but we always work it out. This is the longest relationship I have had outside of my family but in my eyes she is my family. Attraction and Power The short term attraction began as children as someone to laugh with, to play with, to talk to as little girls do and the closer we became we were growing and learning about ourselves and about each other and we are totally opposite in the ways we live the ways we think and the way handle things but one thing is certain we level each other out. Since we do have different ways of thinking sometimes the power struggle begins and gets ugly and we are both wrong but entitled to the way we feel and it beco mes wrong when we try to make the other do something or feel guilty for what we feel or think or what they do not want to do. The importance of attraction in the relationship is vital for the ones involved to stay interested in the relationship and to pursue continuing it after all we are self-fish humans and if the relationship becomes uninteresting or there is nothing to gain from it either emotionally, physically, or spiritually chances are the relationship will die. Along with power in a relationship there has to be respect and if the power is used negatively eventually one of the people involved will get tired and again the relationship will end. Improvement An area for improvement in this relationship is listening and respecting each other’s feelings and decisions no matter whether we agree with it or not as it our human right to feel the way we feel and no one no matter who they are has the right to disrespect it. Being open minded will help this matter and acknowledging that our feelings alone are not the only ones that count we must consider everyone involved and how they can be affected and respect the feelings they hold for the situation, which in reality is fair and is vital to maintaining a friend or significant other. Relationship Management Skills Author Daniel Goleman believes it is possible to build better relationships one step at a time. This is accomplished by focusing on six competencies in the Relationship Management domain of Emotional Intelligence. These six competencies are as follows; Inspiration, Influence, Development, Initiate change, Manage conflict, and Establish terms and collaboration. (Goleman, 2009). The two management skills I will use in my strategy to improve this relationship are skills on managing conflict and establishing terms and collaboration. Managing conflict requires the ability to be able to see other perspectives outside of your own And to find a common solution that everyone can agree on and initiate. Managing conflict will help us to be able to not get so upset and hurt where we can still voice our thoughts and opinions respect the difference if we think differently. Managing conflict will also require good listening skills and self-control this will us to hand le difficult and tense situations, see potential conflict before it starts, it will help us to have an open discussion on circumstances, and it will be more of a winning situation. (Goleman, 2009) Team work and collaboration model respect, helpfulness, and cooperation. Both work and home are happier when these conditions are met. When people work well together, turnover and the productivity of the goal ahead increases. It is well known that emotions are contagious and that if one person in a group is unhappy it can make everyone unhappy. To improve my relationship skills I will want my best friend to be able to turn towards me rather than away from me or against me so I will have self-respect and show respect to others, I will try to have communication skills including listening assertiveness, also watching my nonverbal communication (Goleman, 2009) Conclusion We are all human and communication and relationships are an everyday happening we must either communicate in a verbal or non-verbal way we must also listen with an open mind and have respect for all parties involved in order for the relationships we have to work out or to turn into a long term relationship. We cannot abuse power or others feelings they may have and we must respect others choices as a mutual respect or the relationship will not work. Managing conflict and working together will help provide a better foundation for the relationship and help it grow from short term into long term with an understanding of both parties feelings along with the thoughts involved. Meeting people and building a relationship is a process of learning, listening, accepting, identifying, and respecting each other. Relationships can be anything from just casual acquaintances or can be like the one I have with my best friend almost thirty years long and counting. We can go from friendships to intimate relationships as we learn, grow, and love. References Works Cited (2009, July 27). Retrieved May 20, 2013, from The Power of Perceptions: http://nivasameya.hubpages.com/hub/The-power-of-Perception Types of Power in a Relationship. (2013, May 21). Retrieved from http://voices.yahoo.com/types-power-relationship-34270.html Blackett, K., & Weiss, P. (2011, May 1). Safari Books Online. Retrieved May 19, 2013, from http://my.safaribooksonline.com/book/-/9781593578534/chapter-3-perception-learning-styles-and-personality/i61 Goleman, D. (2009, December 9). 5 Ways To Improve Your Realtionship Management Skills. Retrieved May 25, 2013, from http://www.articlesbase.com/business-articles/5-tips-to-improve-your-relationship-management-skills-1566932.html Knuth, R. (2004, November 4). The Negative Uses of Power. Retrieved May 21, 2013, from http://www.principals.org/portals/0/content/48192.pdf Webb, M. (2006,